Hello, all! I’m back with some fun things to do when feeling alone and lonely. I am using both of these words because one can feel lonely while in a group, and alone when no one is around, but not necessarily lonely. I am currently living by myself for a few months, and as the holidays are coming up, and COVID continues to require people to isolate themselves, I thought I would do a lil post on what to do when you find yourself alone and lonely. There are some no to low contact things and some mid to high contact things, some indoors and outdoors things, but hopefully there is enough variety that some might suit your situation. And now, the list!
Reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while, for whatever reason. If you are 18+ years old, I’m sure you have someone on your friends list on Facebook that you can message, even if it feels a little weird to do. If Facebook is not a healthy step for you, keep reading. If you are still on Facebook, here are some conversation starters: “Hey, I was just thinking about you! I hope all is well!” Or, “Hey, I just had a random dream with you in it, haha! Just wanted to check and see how you’re doing! The Universe be crazy sometimes!” Note that these openers are not emotionally loaded or creepy (the dream one could be, so please use wisely.) But everyone is going through something, and maybe no one has actually asked how they’re doing and actually cared about the answer. So, you might be reaching out to someone at just the right time.
If you are not on Facebook, there’s Reddit! Reddit can be totally anonymous (or not), but I am recommending it because the community is 95% of the time very encouraging and positive. Over 30, tired of dating fiascos, and need to vent? There’s r/datingoverthirty. Need your faith in humanity restored? There’s r/HumansBeingBros. Need to see something cute so you don’t fall into the dark gaping maw of politics? There’s r/EyeBleach. These topics are called subreddits, because they are little branches under the larger canopy of Reddit. There is a subreddit for anything and everything. Some art ones that I like are r/ArtistLounge, r/trippingthroughtime, and r/ArtTimelapse. If you’re already on Reddit, and it’s not as interactive as you would like, search via Google “forum” “+niche interest you have”. There probably is one, and if not, it could be time to start one!
Sign up for a pen pal. This Travel and Leisure article shares seven platforms that will connect you with a pen pal from anywhere in the world, and it doesn’t have to be through snail mail, although a few prefer that. Some services offer video chatting, texting, or virtual meetups. Postcrossing sounds neat to me! There are also senior care centers around the US asking for pen pals to combat isolation. If you are in Pennsylvania, here is a list of several places who have requested pen pals.
Go to your local library and sign up for a library card. Ask them to show you how to borrow books electronically.
Go on a walk or hike.
Go on an adventure! See what sights are within an hour’s drive of your location. If it’s a restaurant, go try the food. If it’s a comedy club, go check it out. If it’s a museum, see what they have on their walls.
Along the same vein, take yourself out on a date, IRL or virtually. Dress up and go all out, pick up your favorite beverage and cook something special that you wouldn’t normally. Get a movie you’ve been wanting to see on your digital device. If going out IRL, check out that new place you’ve been wanting to try. Take your phone, journal, or sketchpad with you and write about what you see and hear. Draw your meal or your surroundings. Pretend you are a food critic and you’re doing a write up. Being alone and dining out isn’t embarrassing when you look fantastic and you’re treating yoself! Also, go you for being brave! A lot of people would rather sit at home in misery than be seen out by themselves, so hell yeah for doing the damn thing!
Have a slumber party for one in your living room! Get all your favorite snacks and drinks and funny movies (or Schitt’s Creek!) and pillows and blankets to the floor! Watch all those movies til the early morning and fall asleep where you’re laying, then get up when the sun rises and go back to your comfy bed until noon. Aw yeah, that’s a slumber party done right!
Get a cat. Or a fish, if that’s more your level. I say these because they are somewhat low maintenance and provide someone to talk to at the end of your day. According to the CDC, pet ownership can help you manage loneliness and depression, as well provide health benefits like decreased blood pressure and cholesterol. Cats are great because they are affectionate, but independent as well, so if you need be away from home for long periods during the day, you won’t have to worry about your cat. Or your fish. The pluses are really adding up here. Here are more scientific benefits about cat ownership. I currently have two kitties, so I am a tad biased, but here are the benefits to owning fish:)
Do NaNoWriMo. It stands for National Novel Writing Month, and the main event takes place in November, but prep for it starts in September. Got a story in you? NaNoWriMo says yes, you do. There are writer’s groups and meetups, pep talks by famous authors (here’s Neil Gaiman’s), and tools to help you build the world that will be your novel. I’m going to do it next year (2021) because I was not fully prepared this year, but I will persevere, and my novel will get written. WHO’S WITH ME?!
Draw on your windows with chalk markers, or your sidewalk with sidewalk chalk and tell your neighbors a joke, inspiring quote, or fun trivia fact per day. Goal: lift up oneself and one’s neighbors with knowledge and positivity. Side note: if you decide to use spray chalk, you need to wash it off within 24 hours or it will stain. Speaking from experience.
Learn TikTok dances or funny skits and post them.
Volunteer to walk dogs at the shelter. Or sign up for Rover and get paid to walk them.
Help someone, somehow. Cook a meal for a neighbor. Volunteer at a food bank, soup kitchen, or homeless shelter. Leave a nice note at the bus stop. Buy socks (or go through your sock drawer) and hygiene products and donate them to the homeless. Socks are the least donated, but most needed items for homeless shelters.
Go minimal! Watch Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix. Get rid of the excess baggage and keep the things that spark joy. Go through all your things and donate, sell, recycle, or trash all that extra stuff. Feel how nice a clean, uncluttered space feels. Ah. Breathing room.
Sign up for a virtual meetup. Meetup.com is still active, some virtually, some IRL. I’ve seen hiking ones, life drawing ones, free and almost free ones, the possibilities are endless!
Organize a silly walk parade in your neighborhood. Put up some flyers and ask everyone to join in the fun. Keep your six feet of distance, but be as silly as possible on two feet.
Cut out some magazine pictures and grab a glue stick. Glue them to places around town! Paper is biodegradable and if the glue is water soluble, it won’t permanently damage what you’re gluing it to. Be wise about where you glue though. No store windows or super public places. Let it be a little treasure for someone to find.
Pretend you’re Kevin McAllister in Home Alone and do all the things you are not allowed to do when people are around, like dance naked or make a tower of ice cream, then eat it for dinner.
Take the bus and get coffee in a neighborhood you don’t normally visit.
Go outside and use your phone to take pictures of ten different textures or all the yellow things you see around your neighborhood.
Start a gratitude journal and start small, then think bigger. To begin: I am thankful that I can blink. And the middle/daily stuff: I am thankful I got up the second time my alarm went off. And get bigger: I am thankful that the moon is always there, even when I can’t see it.
Practice a hobby that involves working with your hands or using your creative brain powers. It’s hard to feel lonely when you’re in the flow of making something.
Fashion show! Put on ridiculous outfits and strut in front of your mirror. Or get the mail.
Listen to podcasts while you do chores around the house. One of my favorites is The Moth, a storytelling podcast and live event. They are doing a virtual gala to honor Padma Lakshmi on November 17th, and the theme is LIFT OFF: Stories of Going Above and Beyond. Other favorite podcasts include Optimal Living Daily, Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness, Rebel Eaters Club, The Jealous Curator: Art for Your Ear, and Creative Pep Talk with Andy J. Pizza.
Support an artist on Patreon and participate in their community. If you support an artist on Patreon with a monthly donation, you get some cool rewards, including an exclusive private feed for fans, and the ability to contact the artist directly. There are musicians, YouTube creators, podcast hosts, visual artists, and more. It’s definitely worth checking out because you can donate as little as $1-$3 per month and get inside info and a community led by your favorite artists. I’ll be launching my Patreon soon, so stay tuned!
That is all, friends. I hope some of these activities inspire you to be brave and take loneliness by the hand and trot into the sunset of the joy of being alone ( or together, depending on your activity of choice). Being lonely can make you feel lost and helpless, but hopefully this list will inspire you to take some control over your situation and help you forget about it for a bit. Let me know if you try them in the comments or via the Contact form! I wish everyone good health and a good weekend:)